Grief - One Year Later
On the one-year anniversary of Lynette’s death, Jan 17th 2011, I took her ashes and sprinkled them in the water at Stanmore Bay. I went by myself, as I was sure Lynette would not like a fuss made of her ashes.
Later that day our younger son, Mark, his two older sons and I went fishing. We had a great time. Naturally I allowed the others to catch the larger fish!
In the evening I finished the articles following the Story, “Three Stages of Life”. The last one is called, “Who is your Spiritual Father?”.
Up till that time I had been feeling good. I thought all grief was over!Mistake! Big mistake!
I was given a book on the benefits of speaking in tongues. The author said the major effect of speaking with tongues was to edify the believing speaker. That the Holy Spirit knowing the true needs of the believer would give the unknown words to pray concerning those needs.
I had no idea that I was still holding back from expressing my grief!
The grief started as a small wave of grief and loneliness, then it came like a tsunami wave! I just wept uncontrollably and felt so lonely.
The author had warned there would be times of impasse but I did not expect grief! It was such a surprise! But being a male I tried not to cry!
I went to Church on Sunday 27th February feeling very weepy. Sought out friends who prayed with me. It was suggested to me that I put in a Prayer Request. I did so, for grief. Result = visiting Preacher spoke of coping with Grief!
This was God’s answer! The Preacher mentioned that tears were beneficial so on returning to my apartment I let the tears flow. Some relief.
On the Monday I coped quite well, but Tuesday after the early morning Church Prayer Meeting things got worse. Later that day I sent out messages to my Christian Facebook friends and those on my email list. Later that night a Church member that had prayed with me prior to the Service phoned and suggested I talk to the Hospice Chaplin. This I did at about 8 am the Wednesday morning.
I could hardly speak on the phone. We arranged to meet. Had a productive time. He got me to promise I would do three things.
- See my GP.
- Attempt to do some work,
- Arrange family support.
Result = When I got back to my apartment I received a phone call from a Christian Physio saying I could go and visit them at any time and that he had 2 weeks work for me! Again God answered straight away! My younger brother phoned to say he would come in the afternoon. We talked and walked. Towards the late afternoon he took a photo of me. The best photo of me I have ever seen!
I then saw my GP. After a good talk he suggested some Christian Counseling.
Over the coming days I received many messages of support from around the world. I am so grateful to have a God Who has given me so many friends and the Holy Spirit Who gets me to pray for needs I never knew I had!
I have been to one counseling appointment and was able to share many things. Very helpful.
I still have times of sorry and loneliness, but not over whelming.
It was such a surprise to me to have this episode one year after.